Thanks, RW...

This test result kind of gives me an idea of what it must be like when a person has a health issue that takes away something that gave them their identity...like a strong man getting a disease that leaves him weak and feeble...or a macho guy who identifies with his sexuality and gets prostate cancer that makes him impotent...
My identity has always been my intellect. Everyone always said, "You're so smart", or "I want you on my game team. You know so much." Except my dad...he told me, "You're the dumbest smart person I've ever met." He was right...lots of book smarts, no common sense. My son proved that one evening at dinner when he said, "Did you hear they took gullible out of the dictionary?" I wailed, "But why?"
Anyway, my loss of the ability to process goes back almost 3 yrs when I quit my job rather then get fired...due to getting things messed up. I just got so overwhelmed I couldn't organize and got cussed out by the boss in front of everyone...it was a restaurant, and I refuse to go there to dine now

I was already dealing with sxs of MS, but old neuros wouldn't tag it as MS...so now I understand why I had so much trouble.
And I get now that I am not my intellect, or my kindness towards my inlaws, or anything else that others tell me. I am ME. No matter what I do, or can't do, I am ME...
so when I finally decline from age and not MS, I hope that I won't be as bitter as my FIL...he's 88 and still can't understand how this happened to him I don't want to be that way...
My verbal abilities are still high on the scale, so at least my ability to write is probably good...it is a gift I can still share, for which I am profoundly grateful. Processing, not so good...oh well

So, thank you to all of you who understand...and for all of the words of encouragement.