I'm on 300mg of Welbutrin, if I remember to take the second pill, which is hit and miss right now. I take ativan for the anxiety/panic attacks when needed. I'm on htcz for high blood pressure and atinilol for the same.

I wanted to try the new cymbalta as it is also for chronic pain, which I also have from a back injury and a knee injury. But I am on state help and the program I am on will only pay for Welbutrin, prozac, and celexa. I can't take the prozac or the celexa due to problems with the side effects so the other choice is Welbutrin.

It's better than the other things I was on under different programs over the years. I used to be an optimist most of the time, but with all life has dealt me it is hard to see the light and I tend to see both sides but only express the pessimest point of view as the one I see happening to me.

I sometimes wish for bipolar, I'd love a spurt of the energy I see my significant other get into. It has it's drawbacks as he cleans and super cleans the house, but we can never find and he can never remember where he put things while on a high cleaning spree. He sometimes doesn't remember doing the cleaning at all.

I was reading another thread and I can't remember if it was here or at the other forum(which for now is read only for me) but I think it was on the depression forum here that there are some bipolars that never get the high and I wonder if I am one and could use a mood stabilizer.

I've tried for disability but have been denied as I'm not as disabled as I think I am according to the last verdict. Today with the cold I can hardly move, and can't get comfortable anywhere, sitting, standing, laying down, nothing.

I want to feel good again. I was up for a bit, for me anyway, when I got my horse a few months ago. I can't wait to ride her. I know it will painful to saddle her up and get on but once in the saddle I don't hurt. And she is such a wonderful horse. Everything I ever dreamed about. Sometimes I just go out in the paddock with her and hug her neck and cry, it just seems to make everything better. It's just too cold today. I put her blanket on her yesterday before the snow hit, I couldn't do it today. I had my daughter feed her for me. I can watch her from my kitchen window. She's a black egyptian arab, 18 years old and beautiful. Bombproof too. Except for backfiring little blue trucks that come in our drive(our daughter-in-law)ha.

Why do I end up writing books for a simple answer to a question? Christmas was good too except even more people in a little house. But cozy.