I so understand. My extended family do not get it either. Normally we meet up and have the meal in middle of the day .... This suits me as I am not so tired and weak then. But one brother dictated the terms of when he was arriving and it was late afternoon so the whole meal thing was shifted to late. I knew this would be no good to me and said we could not get there and now the family think I am not trying hard enough.

I left presents and know which ones will be getting some next year. For several years now I give and give and they ignore ignore. Hubbie and I had a quiet meal at home - nice tasty soft risotto type meal that slips down my throat - and it was nice. But I will be the worst person for not going to their dinner.