Tracy,
There is no need to be sorry, or call yourself a mess.
I'll give you one bit of advice however.
It may or not work. It will probably take some time both to master, and take effect.

There's an old saying, or maybe not so old...
"Expectation is your doorway to Disappointment".

Maybe you should try lowering your expectations of your family, and husband.
The more you complain, and stay in a negative place, the more "Helpless" they feel. Do you like to be made to feel that way? Of course not. So then maybe they retaliate?

Then, of yourself, and your body..
You do your best everyday. Your doctor and body will do as will happen.
If you have Faith, use it!
And, for heaven sakes, stop talking to your hands! They can't hear you, and it's really like being Passive Aggressive, especially if anyone is in earshot, just like you're doing more complaining.

Try this:
Absolutely stop complaining to your hubby and family, that's why you have a therapist, and us. It makes them feel useless. (Think; how do you make Them Feel?)

Accept what you can't change, I don't think very many of us are going back to 'where we were' or what we once were. I've had this since 27, I'm now 53. It's only getting worse.
But, if a friend calls and asks if I want to go out, I'll just say, sorry can I have a rain check? Or, sure, be happy to!
No negativity should be shoveled onto loved ones and friends. It's just not what they're for. (Except of course on a rare occasion, or when they ask).

This may help you Tracy, or it may anger you. I don't mean to anger you, it's only a suggestion....
But, the people whom I treat this way, actually end up becoming my Advocate! They'll speak up for me, if need be.
Because they "Understand" there's nothing they can do, except that.

love,

pete