Thank you all so much. I do feel somewhat better but it is hard to get over all the hurt just because of one disease, one accident. Sometimes i wonder why me,but I can never answer that. It is so tough because there were so many things I could do and can't now. I used to be able to help my husband with cutting wood, stacking it, taking care of the wood stove, helping him with whatever he needed help with in the cattle yard and I can't do that kind of stuff any more. It just makes me sad. I do go outside when he is out working on the wood and ask him if there is anything i can do to help him even if it is something small and all he tells me is its all to heavy for you so no there is nothing you can do. It makes me cry and wish that I could be like I use to be. I know I will never be that outgoing person I use to be and it is really hard.I do cry when he says that to me but not in his presence.I am so angry at myself for that one stupid accident. I tell myself if I wouldn't have made that one mistake I would be what I use to be, but I know there is no changing it. It is so hard cuz I can't even do the things I use to do with my daughter. That really sucks. She is 14 and I have missed out on so much time with her. I can't even ride bike anymore. i haven't rode bike for I don't know how many years. We had just gotten me a brand new bike to ride just before I found out I couldn't do it due to me hurting real bad when I held the handle bars. so I couldn't do it any longer. I know there has to be a positive or two in this mess I just have to find them again. I was there at one point but I went backwards again so I need find the right hill to pull me out of where I am at. I know I have come to the right place for that because EVERYBODY here cares about one another and you all can help any of us pull out of anything at least mentally. Physically might be a little more complicated cuz we are all different. No matter what we are all there for one another and can and will be there to try and help one another out the best we know how to.
Thank you all again for trying to help me.
Pete you are still one of a kind and I would never replace you for the whole world. Thank you so much for being such a wonderful friend.

Sincerely,
Tracy