Dear Tracy,

My head hurts all the time. But I NEVER tell my husband that, I don't think he would be able to stand it if he knew how much pain I am in. I am quiet about my pain with the kids, too. They don't need to hear about it, they are only 19 and 15. My husband is very concerned about the meds that I take, so to make up for it I'm careful with my diet, take lots of vitamins, exericise often (I can only really walk because I can't use my arms for much), and don't drink booze at all to avoid problems in that department.

I think when there is a lot of mutual care and concern between couples we have to do our best to be thoughtful of each other. Yes -there are so many things that have changed for us with the RSD - and it's really, really hard. Our 25th anniversary is coming up within a month. But life and marriage is about challenge. Our babies were challenging, our teenagers have been challenging (!!), at one time in our marriage our finances were challenging, and now my illness is challenging.

And it's by far the WORST challenge we've ever had. I never could have imagined I could feel this kind of pain, or how incredibly evil WC the people at The Hartford could be, or that a doctor could write the IME that was written about me (the worst that many of my treating medical professionals admit they have ever come across), or how many tears I could cry. And now I know that as soon as my son finishes high school we will need to sell our house and move to a less expensive area where we can get by on just one income if necessary. It's too risky with my illness to keep, even though it's not extravagant by any means.

It's been a long year and a half since I was diagnosed...I could whine on and on and on....as you know with RSD it's just one thing after another as the symptoms keep getting worse over time. But I TRY to whine to you guys and NOT to my family. As I said before, I don't want to burden them with my pain.

As a couple my husband and I have always been close and tried to work out our problems together. I am so thankful most of the time that there are 2 of us! But if it ever got to the point where I felt like you seem to feel, I would call a therapist. It sounds like you want to stay with your husband and daughter together as a family.

I truly wish you the best of luck. XOXOX Sandy