Hi Tracy,I am so sorry you are going thru this. Getting RSD and all the physical emotional changes that go with it, is a huge adjustment. You are still you-the same Tracy. You now have limitations, pain that wears on you. but their are coping skills you can use to be happy. Happiness is an inside job, not dependent on external circumstances. It's called the ''peace within'
If you are a spiritual person, you can pray for peace and joy, the fruitage of God's spirit Galations 6:7.
There are books that helps us with communication skills. The way we communicate is so important. It can make a difference from the other person receiving our message and really receiving it, or rejecting the message and viewing it as criticism. There are even classes at community college -interpersonal skills. An example would be, "when you stay away from the house, I feel lonely and really miss you." Instead of saying something like-You don't like being around me anymore-I hate that.
You are grieving just like someone grieving that last a dear marriage mate or friend. Your are grieving for what was-what you used to be like, what your marriage was like-the things you loved to do together. Perhaps, you could journal those feelings down and cry, Look for the things that you could do together NOW. If you don't like basketball and he does, learn what the game is about and watch it together-have a pizza basketball night.
Losing your hand skills is terrible- I couldn't cut my own food. or zip my clothers or botton things-peel potatoes etc. 100 treatments of physical therapy, massage therapy, including massage therapy helped me get half of the use of my hand back. Can not cut my food, dress myself, prepare potatoes etc. There is a book out Always Looking Up by Michael J Fox- he has MD and it's all about his adjustment and optisim and gratitude. He wasn't that way at first-he drank and felt sorry for himself. Now he travels, gives lectures and helps others to adjust to their circumstances.
It's tough on us and tough on our families. My daughter and I playd tennis 5 days a week, tournaments, water skiied, snow skiied, traveled to many countries and now I have full body and in a lot of pain. After 15 years-still mobile, stretch, desensitized, grateful for so many things. It's not the same with my husband, I used to run our business, but my memory inhibits me doing that. I am limited in driving due to medications. We used to go to Maui every year and water ski all summer and Arizona has a long summer. Our daughter misses our water and snow skiing days. She was 15 when I got RSD following breast surgery, benign. She is married now and her hubby does all those things =he's a doll. They have done a lot of research themselves on RSD and encourage me to keep active. He is a pilot. I've started my own business I can do from bed a lot and visit people when I feel like it. So that's been really encouraging. I see a psychiatrist that has been wonderful. When my parents died back in '73 & '81 I got into counseling for 2 plus years and helped so much.
Something extremely important to take care of is any legal issues regarding the car wreck, when you were rearended. Your SCS not functioning correctly since that accident. You need to get that documented and have an attorney handling that for you. The issues from that wreck may not even be manifest now. Not to scare you, but some people get body wide spread from SCS surgery. Are they wanting to re-do your leads? This disorder and meds are very expensive. WC is terrible to deal with. A private insurance company from an accident would be much better to deal with, if your SCS quit working because of the accident. My daughter is a court reporter and she see's it all. Sad, but true.
I read a book called, You can't Afford the Luxury of a Negative Thought " by Peter McWilliams. Besides journeling, music can lift our mood, candles, painting-even paint by numbers LOL. Writing friends, calling friends, Distraction is huge to help us get thru each day.
I'm 61, hubby 72, daughter and son in law 30. We have lived here 12 years in Arizona, have friends visit every year from Oregon, Washington. Keep in touch, we all need each other-your friend-loretta with soft hugs
