Keep Smilin,

This experience for you (not working) is still young, and if you notice, you will go through the normal stages of grieving. Because, in a sense, you will be grieving the loss/death of your former self and life. It really does feel like you die, when your co-workers are at work, carrying on without you....... and when your name is mentioned, you know they are saying "so sad what happened to her and we're going to miss her." You've crossed over into a new life, and you're angry, confused, and lost!! Very good that you are venting, and not keeping it in, as after denial, comes anger in the grieving process, so you on a progressing road. A couple years into this, I will tell you (from my own personal experience) it does get easier, but part of you will always mourn that former self and resent that it was unfairly taken from you. What will really burn you up is those people that will tell you how "lucky" you are that you don't have to work. IF they only knew!!!!!

Don't feel bad if you don't keep smilin ALL of the time. You are human, and it is good to make friends with that angry part of you (to become familiar with it) and not ignore it.

Have a happy and healthy!!! Vanna