Quote:
Originally Posted by AintSoBad
Tracy,
You asked, I'll give you some advice.. I'm not saying it will be easy, ok?
Yes, I do believe you're looking at the thing wrong, you need a small adjustment.
You want your mother / family to change. I'm sorry to say, that you can't change them.
Accept things you cannot change, remember that prayer?
You want your mother / family to accept you. Yet, you're not accepting them.
While you can't change them, you very may well be able to lead them! Thereby changing things slowly. You'll change the dynamic.
I'm going to repeat this to you until it's marked on your brain....
"Expectation is Your Doorway to Disappointment"!
(repeat it to yourself, it took me a while to get it, and live it!)
So, if you "Expect" something of your Mother / Family, you may well be disappointed. If you don't expect much, you'll be much happier!
Same as with your body, hands etc., if you don't "Expect" them to be as good as they ever were, you won't be disappointed!
Let go of your expectations, Tracy! Otherwise you are going in circles of disappointment, pain and hurt!
Think about how much you want to stop crying. Slowly, a smile will come over you!
Think about this, too. How much are you acting like your Mom? (I have no idea, this is for you to answer), but, I'd guess that it's more than you might think...
Be well, Tracy, and feel well!
there is no magic pill. This will take a little time.
Always wish you the best!~
Happy New Year!
Pete
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Tracy..
The word is not to have ANY expectations from others...Then you will NOT set yourself up for hurt..from anyone..it is a hard concept to understand and live by but I promise in the long run you will be happier for when people including ALL family members surprise you and meet you in the middle..it will warm your heart at that time and not before!!
I had to learn this myself just recently.. my bestest friend who brought herself closer to me due to her compassion for my illness..and we became good friends... well she is a bit of a loner by nature... many times, I would love to pick up the phone and say... hey..I need you now but I stop my self because.. I EXPECT that of her..in reality she is home, relaxing with a good book.... SHE has been so supportive of me.. and I need to be less demanding due to my RSD, that in itself can push others away who care .... Another added bonus of RSD
This way of thinking does alignate us a bit more than we need or want but it will come back to helping you feel better..I promise..as if RSD is not enough for us to live with but setting your self up for hurt by having expectations and trying get others to act like WE want...Whew..thats like moving a mountain, my friend!!!!
Remember... Keep smilin.. and the world WILL smile with you!!!!!!
Talk to us...let us help you..you will be okay!!!
