Dearest Blue,

I have been thinking about your cake metaphor. After careful consideration, I feel compelled to tell you that there is no cake, complete and beautiful and sitting just outside our grasp. Instead, we are surrounded by ingredients: it’s our job to mix them together and bake our own cake.

I believe that a lot of us with troubles slow our journey to happiness by believing if we just had this one thing (whatever it is), that all would be well. Waiting for that one big cake, can keep us from doing what needs to be done to reach goals and prevents us for savoring life’s little treats. For example, there are people who crave a relationship, but don’t go anywhere they might meet people. Others develop attractions for people who are unattainable (married, far away, etc…) without realizing they may be doing this because they aren’t truly ready for a relationship. (As the song says, “imaginary lovers never let you down…”) What these people fail to recognize is that they may need to develop some sense of self-love before they can enter a healthy, meaningful partnership.

Instead of waiting for that one big thing to come along (I blame some of this on the Prince Charming stuff fed to little girls and the cavalry arriving at the last moment junk fed to little boys.) and making everything right, we have to go out there and scrape our cake together one crumb at a time. We need to think about the things we can do to make our lives better. I know it’s hard to be proactive, but it’s the little things that add up and make the difference. Volunteer, indulge in a hobby, learn something new, adopt an abused animal… Get busy and one day you might realize you’ve cobbled together your own cake. The best thing about this cake is that, because it’s made up of so many small ingredients, you won’t be devastated when the occasional sprinkle falls off.

In short Blue, there is no point delaying your life and torturing yourself waiting for some non-existent, unattainable model of perfection. We have all heard of people who thought all of their problems would be over after a big lottery win, only to be left shocked and bitterly disappointed. What happened? The people didn’t change. Life is about slow change and evolution. It’s about trying to do good and positive things and one day looking back and thinking “I have built a moral life with friends who love me. It may not be perfect, but it is within my power to make it better.”

At the end of the day, the most important ingredient is us. And Blue, I know you have what it takes to bake one fabulous cake.

Cheer