L1, waves, barbo,
Have to admit that I'm crying and trying to respond. I appreciate so much that you continue to listen to my sorry story and still care about me. I can't help but feel that somehow I failed because--if I had worked harder, been kinder, prayed more--this relationship might not have failed so miserably.

We had a "confrontation" last night, and--of course--it wasn't pleasant. I don't know what to say to him anymore. His hatred and rage are discoloring every aspect of my life. I made the decision to not tell him that Owen had to have the feeding tube put in (this was while J. was in the hospital) so that I could drive to Oxford to be with Owen. I don't know what I'm doing anymore, just that I need help and don't know where to go to get it. Yeah, VERY small town . . ..

I wonder if you would continue to pray for God to work in my life, to change ME, to give me the love and desire to care for J. and some direction in Owen's life. I'm so incredibly blessed to be able to talk with Owen by 'phone when a staff member is available. There is no better sound from my child than "I love you" which only a few people can understand, but I know what the sounds mean, and it blesses my heart each and every time that I hear those sounds and the "kissing" sound that he can now make

I wonder if you know how much I need and appreciate you? From my *heart,
love,
reyn