David Please go to a Hosp. or call a suicide hot line... Please keep fighting .You ARE a fine father and protector of your family .You provide for them and LOVE them. You ARE a Great parent. These feeling will pass .This is a temporary urge .David please fight the urge please seek help.
Read some of what peter has left for us that alffe mom and others shared here in the fourm... Stay strong .
We are here for you.
Sending strength Prayers and protection from any type of harm to you and to all my family here. Seek help if you need to.

PEACE
BMW