"Here is my biggest fear... I don't want people to think I just pull it out when it's convenient! I don't want people to think I just "Play the disabled card" when I want to. I really do save it for when I'm really tired and just can't take the pain any more! I try not to burden those around me as much as possible... but when it gets too hard, then I ask for help... but the problem is, do they think I'm "using my disability card" to get out of work? "

I hear you, Terri.

Like a lot of people here, I have days that are better than others. On a good day, I can seem pretty with it. On a bad day, I'm a confused, stuttering, pain-ridden disaster. Most days, I'm somewhere in the middle of that. I think this lack of consistency can make people think you're "putting it on."

Like you, I also don't say anything unless I feel desperately ill. Often that's when I'm being pushed past my energy limit (having to go to hubby's boring, but too loud, office party) or being stressed (a famiy disagreement). Consequently, my pleas to remove myself from the situation may seem convenient.

Still, those closest to us should know better and it breaks my heart when we're accused of exaggerating by them. Don't we get enough of that from doctors? If my family and friends had any idea what an effort it takes for me just to get through the day, let alone with an artificial smile on my face. It's the times when I'm not grimacing or moaning that I'm faking. God, I wake up every morning wondering if I can keep pulling it off...

Cheers