Lynn, you had some great thoughts. We never know what someone else is going through, even our best friends. It sounds like this woman is a quiet type to start with, and not prone to talk about her problems. Maybe that is a way to begin. Try to reach out to her and see if she needs an ear.

You could both find some mutual strength by talking about both of your lives. If she really is a quiet one, you can consider it a project to draw her out. The effort might be a needed therapy for you, as well.

Another thing to consider, KS, is that your friend might not be sure how to relate to you. I am extremely uncomfortable when I visit a terminal patient in hospital. What do I say past “I am sorry” and my offers to help? Have there been recent changes in your condition, where she does not know what to say? In the past, she might have been able to offer hope where now she just senses hopelessness.

I hope you reconnect.