What a great grandmother you are. Once (before my move and MS) taught children with such problems and know you get little respite (I got lunch and left by 4). You have rights under laws to education for all and help for all classified children. I read you are getting help for 18 month old, so you must know child is entitled to services birth until 21. Do you get any respite help for you? You are the greatest advocate for these kids, being very visible and vocal to make sure teachers and therapists do their jobs correctly. IEPs need to be approved by you as best and most reasonable plans. Are kids eligible for SSDI? Educate yourself as much as possible, some boards of education not as good as others when they are trying to cut corners and save money and make you work for everything. You are not totally alone in this battle, PM me if you want and I'll try my best in my limited way.