OK, lets see if I can get this out before she comes back... nothing like a game of chase with a toddler.

What I mean to say is that if you put on your happy face for people, you present yourself as feeling much better than you do and they come to believe that. We all do it, it is human nature to hide some of your suffering and present yourself as well as you can in a social situation. It is a problem for most people here with friends, family, and spouses/significant others. It is very important for you to find a constructive and factual way to say " well I don't feel great but I am here doing the best I can" and hope that people who are your true friends will understand. There are lots of good ways to convey that message without whining about it. My husband always tell me to just "stick to the facts" It is a good motto.

My favorite answer I think came from Wittessea on another thread (sorry I didn't look up the link)- "I am not feeling any better or worse"

I also often use, "I am getting by", "today is a [good/bad] day"
My boss is getting accustomed to my 'good' weeks and 'bad' weeks.
My 3yo can even tell people that my arms hurt and usually rememebrs to be gentle with me. I am also not past making my self look much more pathetic than I feel when the time requires it (like askig for a carry out at the grocery store). Or passing off a "I know I look OK, but my arms are actually quite defective" And giving a generous and heartfelt thanks for the help.

If what you want is for people to just bug off, you can also say- "well today I just wanted to forget about my arms and have a good time"


It is hard, and the wrold is not out to get you, but remember that people are generally stupid. They are used to interpreting exactly what they see and not lookign to read between the lines of your words, actions, or expressions.

At any rate, there are some good older threads on this topic, and I am going to have to run...maybe someone could pull one up?

I am sorry that you feel so crappy..believe me, I understand.

and the Francinator is back, demnading to be loved, so I must go now.

best to you
johanna