I got my SOS Newletter today and there were several excellent articles in it....one written by a Volunteer Facilitator who used the analogy of fog while doing his usual soul searching..(it's a time of year thing that survivors do..*grin)

He quoted Carl Sandburg..."The fog comes on little cat feet. It sits looking over harbor and city on silent haunches and then moves on."

"We are familiar with two metaphors involving the fog. One is the warm and fuzzy cat as a metaphor for the fog, the other is the fog as a metaphor for a confused mental state. Our lost loved ones, if they were in such a fog, were easily disoriented, lost, frightened, and even hopeless. Although we did the best we could at the time, we may not have even been aware they were in a fog."

"Compassion is sometimes an elusive concept. One author I read defined compassion as the ability to enter into someone else's pain without being consumed by it. The fog metaphor gives us and others a possible entrance into the pain of our loved ones. In an unpleasant situation, we will often resort to humor. We sometimes do this as a form of compassion. Other times we use humor rather than exercise compassion. Humor can be our way of alternately acknowledging and denying the unpleasant state, in ourselves and in others. Acknowledging the fog-like state gives it less power over us. When we think we have a choice, it might seem safer to deny than to acknowledge. Denial might appear to do away with the risk of being consumed, but we know it doesn't really keep us safe in the long run.

As survivors, we could say we have been compelled to use compassion when other options have evaporated. Rather than getting angry at others who are not in a similar situation, can we gently (for ourselves as well as them) point the direction for them?"

Author...Dennis Gates SOS Volunteer Facilitator Newletter from Mental Health Center of Dane County