but I feel so very discouraged, frightened, and alone right now. I guess I just needed to tell some people who have some understanding of what I'm going through, since no one I know gets it at all. I'm just so very exhausted, and I just don't know if I can keep doing this. . . .

I unfortunately know this feeling too well. ...

sometimes it would help telling myself that he who has been able to climb out of a dungeon is equiped to be a mountain climber. but, sometimes even that wouldn't be of much help, because how many more mountains should I climb...

you become so vulnerable...

you just want something to work, without having to invent the wheel.

I believe that we all have those times, it's inevitable when you have to live with such a " crazy" illness, and still lead something that resembles a reasonably productive life. and people around you live in the normal world, where distances remain the same, and so does the weight of what you try to hold. and not in the world of alice, where you never know what it's going to be, and can sometimes nearly drown in the pool of tears...

I can say from my own experience, that a bipap, once it is properly adjusted and you get used to it and learn how and when to use it, can significantly improve your quality of life.

alice