Hello mrsD,

Thank you for the links and advice. From my reading I have noted the relatively low rate of diagnosis of aspergers among women and girls. I understand now how diagnosis in adulthood can be difficult even if the client is sure. I wonder, though if the psychologist was also engaging in some form of 'profiling'. She was certainly not listening to me. I was very tired and perhaps I should have been more focused.


I found the report she wrote cruel and misleading. She seemed to think I needed something from people and was seeking making a cry for help because I was not getting it; that I had learned all my symptoms as a result of a mother who did not eschew socializing... (Truth is if society did not exist and I did not have to function in society, I would be very happy indeed. Give me solitary confinement and a pile of good books, anyday ...

The psychologist seemed adamant I had anxiety, even though I kept trying to tell her it was not anxiety in the sense that people normally experience it, rather my sytem seemed overly sensitive and receptive. I informed her of the racism/bullying I had suffered at grade school and denied it had stopped me in any way from living my life; I think differences in skin color should be the least of anyones worries. Indeed, what was preventing me from being happy was feelings of being odd and 'out of it' all the time. Like, I have a memory of becoming really itchy everytime I would look at a particular walpaper in our kitchen around age 7. To this day certain patterns set me off. I kept trying to tell her about how as a grade schooler I would skip many meals because my hands would shake as I raised them to eat (dyspraxia I think now). She was determined not to listen.


I know I have learned a lot about how to appear like everyone else, but I behave strategically, rather than having genuine 'empathy', if you will. But perhaps I see how my tendency to rambling and not making myself clear about why I was there affected her judgement of me.

I know my writing rambles too. I have diffiuculty sequencing things. Sorry.

You know, my mother once called me deformed on account of my walking on my toes.

I am going to check out all the links you gave. Check out Dr. Oldmans book.
I score very high on those online aspie tests and I just know my search for meaning is at an end. I will try my best to get information together and present it to the right professional so I can move past this feeling of being stuck .

Ok. I got 156/200 on the Aspie quiz: I am very likely an aspie. But then, I already know that.

I am glad there are people who identify with my experience. I was beginning to doubt myself for a moment. I bpight milk and cream cheese yesterday in denial of my casein and whey allergies! I must admit, my stomach is now upset, and my head feels a little strange. I was being silly. No way do I want to be the wreck I was again.