Dear Phyxius,

I understand your apprehension about the neuro-psych.

I think it's especially hard for those of us who've lost a great deal physically, to learn that our intellect has not escaped unscathed. Let's face it, damage to our cognition strikes at the very core of who we have been. Compound this with the personality changes wrought be frontal lobe damage, and it strikes at the very heart of who we are.

My brain injury has forced me to think a lot about the big questions, like identity and good and evil. Are we all just a bunch of axons? With severe frontal lobe damage, I'm in the process of trying to rebuild some sort of meaningful identity. It's not easy - but it's easier than continuing the vain struggle to be the old me.

Here's some info about neuro-psych testing I posted for another member a few months ago I thought might be helpful. I would add that you should make sure that the person doing the test has loads of experience and is an actual neuro-psychologist. This is not a job for a GP or regular psychologist.

The neuro-psych is painless, but exhausting.

You'll meet with your neuro-psychologist and do a series of tests (verbal, written, visual, motor skills) that are designed to see how your brain is actually functioning.

In advance of your appointment, he/she will want all of your medical records, educational transcripts and letters from employers and friends to try and get a clear picture of pre-morbid you that can serve as a baseline and determine which tests would be most appropriate.

You will also have a long pre-interview where the neuro-psychologist will ask you questions about yourself, your injury, etc... They like also to talk to a close family member or friend to help get a more complete picture. (For example, I had no idea that I constantly repeated myself until my husband said it and all my friends mentioned it in their letters.)

The testing is usually done over the course of one long day. However, they can break it up if that proves too tiring for you.

Most of the time you will get your results in about two weeks. The neuro-psychologist will call you and a family member (if you want) in for a long discussion about your results and make any treatment suggestions. You will also get a written report.

I understand your fear about getting neuro-psych feedback. However, it's not as bad as you might imagine. Frankly, it's not that you don't know something is wrong. During the testing, you may find, as I did, that there are tasks you can't do at all. And, of course, you've seen your MRI and live with your deficits every day. So, in short, while the specifics and extent might surprise you, the news that you have brain damage isn't news at all.

In a funny way, listening to my neuro-psych was a relief. Finally someone understood how I was thinking and feeling and behaving and could explain to me exactly why I was thinking, feeling and behaving that way. Before that, I thought I was going nuts.

The neuro-psych also helped target my cognitive therapy and got me access to some of the support services I obviously needed.

I'm not going to bull you here, Phyxius: you're at the start of a long and difficult process to fashion a new and meaningful identity from what you've got left. I can't stress enough the importance of finding a good psychologist. To say it isn't going to be easy is the understatement of the year. Those with high IQs suffer the most because they are most keenly aware of what they've lost. However, your intellect is still keener than most and it is your greatest tool as you rebuild. Well, that and understanding friends. As we're forced to walk down this bumpy and sometimes dark path, I'll hold your hand if you'll hold mine.


By the way, don't lament missing out on MENSA. I joined as part of a drunken college bet. My local chapter turned out to be a lot of old Russian guys playing chess. BORING!!!!!!!

Cheers