My sis and I are similar to you and yours, Dej...I was lucky to marry a man who has a strong ethical streak...but I also had my mom's mantra playing in my head,"Don't do anything that would make me ashamed of you."
My sis knew how to play the system well...now that she can't work anymore, she is poor as a goat and just cries so much about not having anything...before, she was making mucho bucks as a nurse (albeit lots of overtime)...then after a major heart attack she cleaned out her 401 paying for meds, etc.
My DH and I try to send her money occasionally,but she is so ashamed that she takes help from her little sis...but isn't that what fams are for? She'd do the same for us if it were reversed, I know...