You are absolutely right. I would love to have my health and my pre-disability life back. I earned great money while working, and the SSDI will only pay a small fraction of my previous earnings; however, that is better than nothing.

The thing I miss most is the social life I had before I got to where I am today. My hubby and I used to raise and show horses, as well as ride often. We had to give up that hobby due to my inability to participate, which in turn removed me from that social circle. We also used to work out, and my hubby would compete in amateur body building. He still works out, but I can't do that with him any longer, so he still works out, but doesn't compete, which removed us from that social circle. Additionally, our bowling is out, and we don't see that social circle either. I do have a few close friends, and of course my family who visit me, but I sure so miss getting up and going places!

I always complained about getting up every weekday and having to get ready to go to work...now I would gladly do it with no complaints if I could have that back again. You never know what you will miss until it is gone. I'm trying to find some enjoyable things to occupy my time...so far the only thing is a little computer use and reading. Those things I can do from my recliner or bed, but even that is boring. My hubby took me to a casino back in July of last year, but that was a flop because I couldn't sit in the gambling chairs for very long because of my back, can't drink because of my liver, and the smoke gave me the worst headache. I guess it was all for the best, because I really didn't have much money to waste in a casino, but if I would have had a comfortable chair, I sure would have tried to play for awhile. As much fun as it was to get out and about a bit, I was so happy to get back home to my personal comfort zone.

I feel really bad for my hubby and I tell him to go ahead and go places without me, but he won't. I am trying to get him to go golfing a few times a week, just so he isn't housebound like me. He does work, but that is not the same as getting away for some fun now and then. The best way for me to get through this "change of life," is by getting closer to God. Faith and prayer really make a difference to me.