Colleen, first let me say how very sorry I am that you lost your brother. I can see how very hard you are trying to remain strong, to hold onto at least part of who you use to be.

I can relate, and I needed to read your words, and I thank you for sharing them. I lost my Dad to suicide. It will be two years on March 14th. I am trying so hard!!! to remember who I use to be..... but I just can't. I feel just consumed in the loss of Dad and the unanswered questions haunt me......

Your post tho filled with pain, shows your strength, and offers glimmers of hope. I think only another who has lost someone they deeply love to suicide can understand the full ramifications surviors must try to live with. Thank you for sharing with us Nikki