I remember reading that John Lester would periodically put the information on cd's to free up space......he took the cd's home with him and assured people that that information was in a safe place.....

That kind of weirded me out....because until that point, I don't know why, but I thought I was just writing words that would eventually vanish into the Cosmos...........it made me feel somewhat uncomfortable to realize that someone was saving the emotional trauma I came to this place to get help for.......

I have written on a chalkboard in my home where I can see it readily.....

Things Change

That statement is certainly becoming true for this place....it makes me really sad.....I am one of those people who used that site for the replacement of family and interaction with Human Beings....for help in thinking.....I literally used it to live my Life......

I still can't wrap my heart around the sense of betrayal I felt when I was banned for wishing someone a happy birthday and good luck in her surgery.....I didn't even know the person I was talking about had been banned......I got a e-mail from David H saying that there had been a mistake and that he had reinstated me, but no one had sent me an e-mail telling me that, until days later, when I wrote him, crying my eyes out so to speak.........it never felt the same to me since......

When someone....who ever it is, makes a place like this.....calling out for wounded people in what ever capacity, offering them a place......They have a RESPONSIBILITY to do no harm...That can not be said for John Lester any longer....because for what ever reason........his actions.....or lack of them.......Has caused harm.....to me, and many, many, others........

Maybe that is where I am foolish.....that place became real to me....what an adjustment I had to make when I realized that it could all be taken away in an instant, if I spoke the wrong words.....That is horror...manifested......especially for someone with a brain injury......

I have posted on Doc John's site....but it isn't the same.....no one knows me there......there are caring folk.....but I miss the home I felt for a place and it's inhabitants.........

Blessings on us all..............
Hummer