About a half hour ago I pulled a card from my deck of Doreen Virtue Fairie Oracle Cards.

When you pull one of the message cards you focus on a question.

I was questioning the recent break-up of my oldest son's relationship (who I've been estranged from for over 10 yr... some of you may recall that Grand-Addy's birth 18 mo. ago brought us back together, briefly - and for him, very strained).

The card I pulled said: "Whom Do You Need to Forgive?"

My immediate thoughts went to my oldest son... yet... I have never "blamed" him for chosing not to have me in his life.... so... with him, there was nothing to forgive!

... I blamed ME .... and its ME who has to forgive ME! I keep blaming myself~

Wow... this all makes so much sense to me.... I need to forgive me.... because the only one this is going to make a difference to is ME!

Ok, Addy... forgive thyself! No more anger and resentment towards ME!

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P.S. However sad and melancholy it is that I "lost" my oldest son ... please know that I am very grateful he is still here on this earth.