I wish you and I could sit together in real life Colleen because I do "get it" and have lived it and survived to talk about it. I did not have young children at home, watching me "deal" with all the pain and that would be such an added stressor. I had/have a supportive husband, who was also struggling with his own grief...something you don't have. So you are it for those girls and probably a lot of other people since you have gone "public" so to speak. My concern is for you because it takes time to work through all the anger, to understand that anger.

How can we be mad at someone we loved so much!!??? Because they did it to themselves!! Could we have made a difference in their lives? Could we have fixed their problem? ss? Could we have comforted them and made a difference at that moment??? We'll never know and that sucks!!

One day you will come to "accept" what Sean has done...you'll never like it and probably never understand it but you will be able to put it in a "quiet place" and go on.

I'm so glad you are here, talking about what you are feeling.