Originally Posted by bobber

Ive not heard too many people discuss melt downs,,,I am a compassionate man,I have empathy for others and Love life and God. Ive noticed thru the course of this disease,whether its just wearing me down physically and mentally of if in reality,its destroying the mind,plus I have factored in the side effects of medicine to the demeanor of a persons charactor. What has scared me and alarmed me is that the other day ,while on the phone with a friend of 15 years,he was in error of a subject that he kept debating me on,he later on after reasearch found that he was wrong,But the focus of this thread ,is after discussiong the matter for an hour on the phone and him defending his views,,I had a major melt down and Wigged out on him. I snapped..I felt like I was loseing my mind,,in rage I ranted,,,That is not me, where did this come from,,Its like turning into a wearwolf,,My patience have grown thin,,,I love my wife dearly,,I appreciate you people as well,and know everyone is hurting,,But this gives me no right to lose control,,My med intake is small due to sensitivity,,But its still a factor,,but the rage that came out of me,is not the person that I want this disease to turn me into,,In the last year Ive became short with people at times,when before RSD came into my life,,,I am so sorry,,with this rapid spread,has comsumed me..I want to hold onto my integrity,,,Has anyone else experineced this,,,Im trying to comprhend whether its just the disease keeping me in pain the meds,the shock of the spread,ect,,,or is it the RSD, deterorating the mind. Im not like that all the time,I try to be up beat,,,but I do notice a change going on,,,I used to be able to debate or argue with the best of them ,so to speak,,but now,my button has gotton bigger,for which is a huge defect to my charactor,,Ive noticed that I dont handle contoversal problems well any more,,I mean I do handle everyday issues ok ,,So im not like that all the time,,I havent been that easy for someone to draw me out like that,,,,Im just going by the other day when I T'ee'd off on my buddy on the phone,,,,,,,,,,,,,,bobber ,,,PS plus Im getting older than dirt and I dont want to end up in a rubber room,Liveing out my end days in a paddle cell with a guy named no neck vinnie bringing me my thorseen shot to shut me up