After reading your post and having rsd for not as long as you, but being young and looking ahead in my life, it scares me to the fact of where I will be at your age. I understand the thoughts and fear and fact of being scared that our patience is short, and how this is an uncontrollable feeling. Yet, I look at it and take RSD out of the equation. The Lord is there for us always we just need to let him do his work with us. I have moments like that, one was yesterday. I woke up with such an anger rage in me, i had to close my bedroom door and get down on my hands and knees and beg God to take the evil spirit out of me. I then read my bible and had a day to myself to cope and come to terms with what is going on in my head. This morning I woke up and had a peace within me. I know that the power is within you and you CAN overcome this. I opened my bible yesterday and in Mark 14:27ish, Christ took Peter John and James with him as he went to Gethsemane to pray right before Judas betrayed Him. He told them them stay here and watch. And when he came back he found them sleeping and said to Peter, "Simon, are you sleeping? Could you not watch one hour? Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The SPIRIT indeed is willing, but the FLESH is weak. This is so true for us. Our flesh is weak, yet our spirit is willing, so lets allow ourselves to pray and becoming willing unto the Lord, and not stoop down to the weakness of flesh.

Hannah