Strawdog,
I second the recording of side effects you may be seeing with depakote. While I didn't have headaches caused by that medication, I had other side effects that required me to end up switching off depakote.

And....this is JMHE......I, too, had a period where I was going under a lot of stress, and stress exacerbates my seizures. I was really worried about the extra stress (from a challenging patch in graduate school that I had to get through, no avoiding it possible, tho I did try for a while ). One of my doctors prescribed xanax for me to take when I was feeling particularly stressed out. I always took the absolute lowest dose (cut the pills in half) and only when I really needed to (because it's a drug that can be abused, but I made sure I wasn't). It took the edge off the stress and got me through. I had started having breakthrough partials (my seizures up to that point had always been TC); taking the xanax at the start of a partial could stop the progression of those stress-related seizures! It takes about 15 minutes for the effect to kick in, but once it did, I was fine.

Good luck!
(Ahhhh, so glad to be back to this forum!!)