Hi Abrown,
I think many of us on the boards are empathizing with the way you are feeling....This condition is a lonely road even if/when you are surrounded by friends and/or loved ones.....because our pain is so personal and silent..
There is a lot of upheaval that comes with it, in every way..socially, work life, homelife, self-esteem, emotional stability.

I have asked similar questions...what have I done, or what is the purpose for RSD to come into my life. Is it karma? do I have valuable lessons to learn from it? or is it some random fluke of physcial nature and physiology that simply happened to me....

So I try to remain positive and open, and break it down moment by moment...I must say, it is a daily struggle.

I am so sorry you are having a hard time and I wish there were some people in your life to help you! My pain psych reminds me that if one of my friends were in need and asked for my help, I would be there in a flash...

So, Abrown, please call on a friend, or a special person to help you, and a family member who may understand, to come and help you, too..
It's important to vent in any way you can, by posting here, by journaling, by listening to soothing music...by shedding tears..
I hope you are able to get your knee checked out soon and I hope you were ale to get some much needed rest..

At some point things will change and there will be better days...I try to focus on that thought while trying to 'ride' the moment as it is....

Many hugs from Hope4thebest