I only know that I find inner resources in areas where I had not known were available. I also discover that my usual identity or ego-mind, often overestimates my resources with unpleasant repercussions. I guess my answer is to attempt to hold loosely the "not knowing". The string held neither too tight nor too loose. This has been my own key to making through with the least suffering. As soon as I place limits, tighten up and cling to one way or the other, suffering begins. Best Wishes TT