I must inform you that I am a trained professional wrestler. I don't know if the news has reached you out there in Idaho yet, but what I do is a fake sport, involving fake violence. I, along with many others have trained for years how to do this safely and properly. Yes, there is the occasional fluke in which someone will get hurt. But then again people get hurt every day doing things like getting out of their shower (no offense to anyone injured in a shower related incident).


I wish you all the speediest of recoveries.

All my best,
-John