It gets better Lonely1...honestly, it does. Call it immaturity, or late bloomers...if we can survive the
importance of adolescence..dawn will come. I get what you are saying and memories of my youth came flooding back..I hated high school...I was not popular...I was a geek in the band..yadda yadda. *grin All of the "wrong things" mattered most in my life. I wanted to be like everyone else and I wasn't..I was just me and I didn't like being me.
You are a treasure, waiting to be discovered. Some day you will be amazed at the person you've become....trust me on this.