Oh Darkside, I can so relate to where you are. The end of May will be my 1 year mark for my "visit" to the psych ward. When I was released, I was feeling timid, afraid, guilty unable to believe that I had laid in bed for almost 3 years being depressed and trying to adjust to meds. In hindsight, I was doing a passive suicide, since I know I wouldn't kill myself because I know the pain of being a survivor of suicide (my mom). So I tried to be rational and tell myself that it wasn't suicide if I wasn't doing anything much to sustain my life.

Like I said, it's been almost a year, and what a change. Yeah, I lost my home after that, but I found hope again and what a great friend I have in real life, who let me move into his home. Then their is the great support that is offered by everyone here....they saved me more than they know and I will be forever grateful. Alffe and others know how bad I was and how far I've come. So please give your body a chance to adjust to the meds, if they don't work, try something else. Talk to us, we will listen, sometimes it just helps to talk, but please don't give up.

I too am happy that you weren't successful in your attempt, and hope you will come back and talk. Gentle hug