I knew my dear friends here would understand. I think it is impossible for anyone not in our situation to really comprehend what we go through. I'm sure there are many others who were forced into disability retirement will feel the same.

I find myself not emailing my friends as much when they slow down....because...I figure they are so busy I don't want to bother them or make them feel they HAVE to take time out for me. This is part of the pity party.

I'm sad to know that it has been more years for you and still you are experiencing the same emptiness. I think, for me anyway, that I just feel I have left something (MY LIFE) so incomplete. As much as I try to shake this... I have not been successful yet. I find myself replaying over and over in my mind, the final few years of my career...the plans I had that won't ever come to life.

I'm trying so hard to rebuild my life. But it's just still not there yet. I was always so structured and organized and very successful in carrying out all my plans no matter how hard it got. I bulldozed my way through a lot of things the last several years of my career. I didn't know I had MS until a few months before a major attack that led to the diagnosis. This was followed by my neuro not releasing me to go back to work. And I KNOW he DID know what he was doing Because I really would not have made it.

I'll take that cheese now....
Thanks so much Lady!