Hi my name is Larry and the mother of my infant twins hung herself in the basement of our home. This was seven years ago and since I have been diagnosed with ptsd. I have to say that I am amazed at the number of people who have reacted the same way as I have. I shut myself away from the world. To this day I cannot get close to anyone and in times when I do start to open up for whatever reason I shut them out. I feel like everything I ever thought I knew no longer means anything. everything that was up is now down everything has been turned inside out. I couldn't help feeling the other day while I was shopping at how ugly most people were. I even conciously tried to see good in any of them and I was left without much hope. It made me think back to the song from the doors where it says people are strange when you a stranger. Face look ugly when your alone. Women seem wicked when your unwanted. Streets are uneven when your down. How increadibly true those words are and how could someone even know to write those lyrics unless they have actually been there. So as alone as we feel we are we are really not. I do feel comfort and Empathy when reading stories like the ones posted on this thread. I will leave you with this poem

I wrote this a few years back. The reason I wrote it is due to a trip I went on with a friend of mine. His sister was one of those types who had a way of making you feel very comfortable and welcome. While I was there I noticed this vase that had this blue bubble in the stem and it was perfect. I wondered how the hell did they do that. So I kind of combined that beautiful blue bubble with how I felt while I was there and I came up with this.

Bubbles in a glass on the wall
Admire the different sizes and shapes of them all
This multicolored masterpiece has you in awe
Things running through your mind as you see them

Where does this take you my friend?
Your mind wanders so pieces of your memories flash in and out
Good ones` ones, of beauty?
Moments when you just wonder
Is there air inside that you can breathe?

Walk away walk away
There are more things to see
Walk to a place you never thought you would be
Talk to someone as if they're your friend
See any number of responses from them

You may find another multicolored masterpiece
One with a voice who can also see
What vision will they have of you?
Will they too be in awe?
Will they have a clue?
Would they even be interested in you?

Go to another and another you'll see
So many differences in all of these
People with fear written all over their face
The ones filled with pain just taking up space
A rare one who will listen
Give you light of thought
A light of perception

One who steps into your shoes and say's the things you wanted them to
Which one of these would you most be attracted to?
Look in your mirror and see what you think
If you were the person who some came to speak
Imagine would you have the time
Would their outward appearance cause you to pause?
Form an opinion and find a cause
To shut them out
Or take them in