I am a patient who suffers from anorexia. Mine is getting better through therapy, but it has taken a long time. There isn't much that anyone can say to get her to stop, she needs to become aware of the problem and be willing to fix it on her own. The more people bring it up to her the worse it actually becomes. That was how it worked for me anyway. The more people said I didn't eat, the less I ate. The more people said I worked out too much the longer my routines became! I do not suffer from cutting myself so I can give you no guidance in that department. My therapist did tell me to take pictures of myself, and that did seem to show me that I was not as fat as the mirror and my brain said. You could see if that works. Sorry this was so long but I am concerned for your friend.