Thank you so much ladies for this it means so much to me. I am a lot calmer than before but my pain level is beyond i mean way beyond a ten. I wanted to go to the ER but i know it will be another dead end for me. I will just go to bed and try my best to rest it off. I have not forgotten God I will remember to pray and tryto be strong. Thanks for understanding and thanks for just being here for me when there is no one else i truely appreciate it. I really hope i don't flip out like this again. Journaling won't work for me as my hands are bad. Maybe someone i can talk to perhaps. Off to lie down in bed adn thanks aginan.