I have been dealing with my pain for such a long time. I try to not be a burden. I figure; "Who wants to hear me complain about how much I hurt?" So I suck it up like the good soldier we boys of the 1950's and 1960's were taught to do.

My brother's wife is dealing with a chronic pain issue and he often comments about how I seem to handle my "problems" better than her. Little does he know how much it is eating me up inside.

About once a month, I can't hold back any longer, though. I let loose with a really gully-washer. I will lie in bed and, between sobs, wail about how I want my real life back. I will cry about all of the physical things I can no longer do - things I used to be real good at like playing bass guitar, repairing automobiles, hiking and climbing, carpentry, home remodeling, landscaping, gardening, and baking. Boo-hoo.

These are the times that my wife is reminded that, even though I may appear to be functioning well and I am holding down a decent job, I really am not having a very happy life.

After about an hour on the pity-pot, I can pull myself together and I am okay. But letting loose like that is very therapeutic for me and, I think, my wife. She gets to hear all of the things I might otherwise keep bottled up for good appearances.