i wish i could pin point it, but i can identify what has made me start posting if that helps. i am thinking of the things that make me happy, like my hexagons or poems when i get nerveous as i am typing. i had a friend (MILI) talk to me about what i was feeling and that helped me identify more boundaries of why i wouldn't post. then she had an idea to make a thread about what i had been emailing her. and eventually i got the nerve up to do it. so it took quite the bit of effort for something that seems so trivial. but i guess trivial is in the eye of the beholder.