...a million times and over, yet, if I don't show it, how would that mean anything?

One of the things that we've been teaching our kids is not just to say it, but to DO it...

unfortunately, I haven't done a good job of it myself...

In the past few months, I kept on telling myself, I need to get on here...I know my dear friends here had wished my happy birthday(s). Dear twink even sent me some flowers.
I've gotten emails asking how I had been...

and as much as I screamed inside of me, I MISS YOU GUYS!! I became more afraid of logging on to here, to my emails...and just kept on spiralling down that abyss of emotional hell...

I am so sorry.....I never thought I'd get myself back on this boat again...

my recovery has been, well, hell...

three pneumonias and countless fevers and flus and I was on my emaciating roller coaster...

getting out of bed was hard some days...

luckily, there is a wonderful Spanish Moss hanging by my trunk, keeping me going...otherwise, I think I would've just withered away like these water oaks around here (not the live oaks).

In the past three weeks, I've begun to feel healthier only to get into another kind of "mix" of things...

what I am trying to say is, how can I say I care when I don't act like it. How can I say that I am going to do something when I don't do it?

I owe quite a bit of you folks emails, explanations and mailing (Anne, I still haven't sent out the forms yet, I am so sorry and I promise to get to them by this weekend, no, really, I will).

I am so sorry that I've miss so many folks' pain and sufferings and wish that I was a better friend....I really have been sucky....please know that I hope you are doing better....

and I am not setting a good example for our kids....to not just talk the talk, but walk the walk...

but if I may sincerely reveal this, and that will always be TRUE...that is...I miss and love you guys...

please forgive my absence. There are so much going on in our lives right now. I hope you'll forgive me and will keep moss in your prayers for tomorrow...

((((BIG HUGS)))) to all...