I see you've been thru the wringer! You have every right to feel the way you are feeling and it's good that you come here to let it out!
I've been praying so much for your situation to smooth out......
You need good, clear direction from your Dr's!!

Vent all you want......never apologize......without this forum, I most certainly would have crawled in whole and never looked back.
But we somehow keep on......for our families.......
We need each other here.

I'm so sorry things seem so screwed up right now.
Hang on to your friends

We'll somehow get thru.....