You are not responsible for your loved one's suicide in any way, shape, or form. Write it down. Say it to yourself over and over again, (even when it feels false). Tattoo it onto your brain. Because it's the truth.

Why do suicide survivors tend to blame themselves? Psychiatrists theorize that human nature subconsciously resists so strongly the idea that we cannot control all the events in our lives that we would rather fault ourselves for a tragic occurrence than accept our inability to prevent it. Simply put, we don't like admitting to ourselves that we're only human, so we blame ourselves instead.

"Guilt is what we feel when we focus our anger where it doesn't belong - on ourselves."

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-SOS A Handbook for Survivors of Suicide by Jeffrey Jackson