Thank you Mari,

I can not even go to sleep and end this miserable day. I can not take this any longer and am ****** off at the world. There are tons of people who I am always there for and when I need someone to help me they act like they can't be bothered. People can't even pick up the phone and God forbid if I ask them to do more than just pick up the phone. EVERYONE I KNOW has somone, a kid, a hubby, a mom, a sibbling, a best friend. At least someone has someone else and they will never know the rough road I walk all alone. I am completely alone all on my own. Not one soul can understand the hell that brings. I am sick and tired of being the strong person for my weak friends. My weak friends can not ever be there for me. I have not one soul to be there for me, zilts. If I were to die tonight there would be no one to take care of my after death arrangements. Don't you think that doesn't bother me? How do you think I feel when I have to get a next to stranger to be the person the docs talk to in case of an emergency. I don't even trust this person to be talking to the docs but they won't take you unless you have a person they can contact. I don't think anyone knows the living hell I go through a lot of times. People think because I am a strong person that I don't feel the pain of loneliness or burden to shoulder everything on my own with absoluteiy no help at all. If I complain people don't want to hear it.