Before we moved he lived in a 2 story house, and I was rarely upstairs (because I HATE walking up or down stairs, my rsd is in my feet and legs), and the bottom level was concrete, with the backyard being concrete and grass. So it was never an issue because nothing really carried. In the new house, it's all one level and everything carries . . . And the backyard is almost all deck. The child's room was upstairs next to his grandma, so I was really isolated from all the sounds and it never occured to me that it would be a problem until we moved

The kids has had some behavior problems, but this seems more like just being a child and not understanding or just forgetting. He tends to jump out of excitement, and really likes me so he tends to want to follow me around a lot . . . . The kitchen and dining room are sunken, and he will always jump up or down, plus he has a bunk bed (which his grandma bought for him for the move) so that involves plenty of jumping too . . . And his grandma was kind enough to buy him an electric guitar . . . He hasn't really played it much, thankfully, but I'm dreading that . . . . He also loves my dog, and wants to follow him around, like a dog, but he tends to thump a lot more like a frog then a dog crawl. His grandma always spoiled him and pretty much let him do what he wanted, so its definatly an uphill battle trying to get him to behave.

Everytime he does this sort of stuff, my fiancee yells at him to stop, and makes him take a time out, or he gets tv or game privledges taken away for x amount of time. He is an only child, and has lead a rather spoiled life . . . . I definatly see what you are saying as far as the discipline goes, but everytime I've brought it up to my fiancee he has said he'll deal with it, but that kids will be kids . . . . I don't know if this problem will resolve it'self soon or what, but now the constant yelling that follows the stomping or jumping is getting to be just as bad . . . . . I feel like I don't want to say anything to my fiancee about it because he's trying to deal with the situation, and I know if I tell him that he's just aggravating it more it will hurt his feelings too, which will make me feel bad, and then more pain . . . . It just seems like a no win situation!

He knew about the pain aggravators before - Everytime I go in his car, even for a short ride, I'm throwing up from the pain. I used to go to sporting events or bars to watch games with him, and had to stop because of the noise and people stomping when something good happened with the game. He also has a pcp that just happened to be an RSD research doc a few years back, so he's also heard it all from his doctor. I know if it came down to it though, he's got to do what is best for his kid. I KNOW I am looking for an easy way out - more discipline = unhappy kid during the "adjustment" period, which is more stress for me, and even though my fiancee understands better then most people, I don't think he really understands how much it aggravates things. I think he is beginning to understand, seeing how he has seen me crying every single night, but I think it's hard on him because he feels it's normal 8 year old behavior and is only disciplining him because of me. I feel like if I wasn't there, it would be acceptable to him. And that I think it the main part of the problem - If it was not for my rsd, this wouldn't be an issue to them. They don't see it as a behavior problem, I feel like they see it as my problem.

I didn't take it as harsh - I know it's my reality and something has got to give, and I really don't know what direction to go. He's already had to have a talk with his kid because the first day the kid told me he only has to do what his dad says, so we had to sit him down and made very clear that what I say goes, and that he should understand that if he does not follow what I say, then his dad will be very mad and he will get in trouble. And really now it's to the point where when he does it, he's corrected and he says he's sorry, but then it happens again 10 minutes later. Last night alone I was only at the house about 2 hours last evening, and he had to be told not to jump or stomp about 15 times.

I realize that I may have to suffer through for a while until we get it under control, and while it won't be a picnic for me, in the long run it will be much better. I just don't know how to survive that period . . . My mom told me I can stay a few nights at her house, but I know that won't really help because when I'm not at home I think the stomping behavior is allowed to happen. I really thought this would be a great move - So much closer to my doctors and work, so I hardly have to drive at all, and it's a beautiful house. Now I dread going there . . . .

I think I will start with talking to my fiancee a little more about this - I think if I can change how he thinks about this then I have a better chance at getting some results. Any discipline will obviously be totally ineffective if it only happens when "mommy" is home. It needs to be consistent. And i think he needs to understand that this is not acceptable behavior, regardless of the age of the child.