Hello David
thanks so much for your feedback. last night i wrote out a rough draft of the letter. it basically says what you suggest. i also added that "i wonder" if there is anything i can do for the kids (now orphans).
i am a little undecided about some things so i shall leave it sit for a day and reread it before i finalize and mail it. i cannot post it as it is not in English, and for both linguistic and cultural reasons, posting a translation would be ineffective - if writing such a letter, say, to a US friend, what i would write could not correspond to a translation of this letter.
ONE THING I AM DEBATING:
wanting to say, but not sure if i should/will, that i am aware of some of the complexities of this type of loss as well as the fact that societal taboos can make sharing and mourning more difficult, that i hope she has friends with whom she can share openly but that in any event i welcome her to share with me, if and in whatever time frame she feels up to it. well the last part i would say anyway... but as to the first bits,
i don't want to come off like a wannabe therapist or some sort of knowitall
* on the other hand *
considering this culture and this person, if i just leave it at "you can talk to me" she might
still be afraid to do so, not knowing to what degree it's "ok," not wanting to impose on me, or even not wishing to trigger me somehow. so it might actually be important to include this. not sure. since we don't usually see each other too often, it might not feel natural for her to share with me nonetheless, and that is alright. but she really really could run into problems with talking to people (i've heard some GHASTLY GHASTLY things talking to people here about suicide, just... ughhh! anyway...) so she might at some point need someone. so i do want to get clear to her that, for my part anyway, i'm really ok with her sharing.
will let it stew. and, culture differences or not, i still welcome your thoughts. your thoughts are good food for my thoughts.
again, thank you all kindly.
~ waves ~