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Originally Posted by hollyk24
I wish it was just an obnoixious sound, but in reality for me it hurts really really bad. Sounds or vibrations have sent me into a flare many times. I've actually tried ear plugs, but it doesn't make a difference. I would guess that I could be deaf and they would still affect me. It's only certain sounds, low bass and low sounds of a medium to loud quality, screeching, although annoying, doesn't have the same affect on me.
Things kinda blew up last night. His grandma was supposed to have him until about 6, but showed up at 4 with no warning. I was making my dog his dinner, and he ran into the house and took a flying leap, landing right next to me. I reminded him no jumping, but within 5 minutes he did it again. It hurt so much that I ended up yelling, and my fiancee thought I was yelling at him (didn't say any words, just made a sound). So he left and we ended up getting in a fight. He is upset because I am upset, and he thinks he is doing everything he can, but "boys will be boys". I told him that I can't live like this and if that was the case I would have to move and call off the wedding, because I'm not going to stay in a situation that is aggravating my pain to such a degree on a daily basis. We didn't really come to a resolution on it, so I guess I'll see how the next few days go.
I already spend the majority of the evening with my foot up, but I have to keep myself moving. I've found that if I get lax on excersicing, my ankle starts getting stiff immediatly. Things like feeding my dog and myself, going to the bathroom, etc, just can't be avoided.
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Hi Holly,
First, I'm really very sorry you're going through this and I understand what a non-stop challenge this is starting to become. Just the length of time a problem goes on can make the pain worse, because there's no recovery time, so the pain keeps escalating, even if the vibrations become a little less frequent.
I know you must be feeling tremendous stress from not only moving, but having unexpected pain and conflict at what "should be" such a wonderful time for you. The parenting and relationship issues that weren't a problem before, are suddenly feeling critical. Stress is yet another trigger for flare-ups.
I have a few ideas that may or may not help. I'm sure you've already thought of/tried some of these, but here goes:
I sometimes use a hammock chair screwed into the ceiling. the vibrations can't reach me from the floor and I can have soft pillows on the areas that come in contact with my body. (mine has a main chair area and smaller areas for arms/ legs.) It's important that it's hung from the ceiling, not supported from the floor. There are lots of styles and materials. A web search can show you tons of options and prices can be very llow in the 30-50 dollar range.
otherwise, I think you at least need a large comfortable chair that's only yours and no one can physically jump on the same space where you're sitting.
Is there a portion of the house (or outdoor space if you can stand sun/wind) that can be "Holly's Haven" a no bounce zone? it can be pretty small, just a place for whatever makes you comfortable (maybe a chaise or exercise mat and bolsters) where you can just feel safe and isolated from the bouncing? (if the boy can understand and respect that space, you may be able to gradualy expand it to more of the house)
are you planning on doing any renovations to the floors or any part of the house? there maybe some building options that can reduce the spread of vibrations and noise (extra layers of material on floors/walls or materials that naturally provide more cushioning, cork maybe?) i used to work in a radio station and there are some sound proofing materials for walls that could help, especially if you are only using them in a small area.
no cost ideas:
one thing that may work is pretty much the opposite of the safe area: having a bounce place and time. ideally, this would be outside and your soon-t- be step-son could be encouraged to do all the jumping, bouncing and running around he could for a set amount of time- maybe even set a timer and tell him he has to keep bouncing, running, etc. until time runs out (not as a punishment, but to give him a safe way to work off some of his energy.)
if it has to be inside, maybe you can be as far away as possible for that set time.
I don't know if there's an option for any outside activities, swimming, park, play area but that might be a huge help! if not, a structured activity can really help. most libraries have free dvds for martial arts, yoga, etc that might interest him, so he can not only work off the energy, but gain some of the mindfulness/awareness that these practices teach. many libraries provide materials by mail (free!) to disabled and anyone living with them; you can request items by phone or online. many have tons of relaxing music cds, that might have a calming affect.
I'm not sure what exercises you do for your leg, but before I got hurt, my (then) little one watched me doing simple, relaxing exercises, and that was something we started to do "together". even if your exercises are really pt, he might learn to be more gentle by copying you. it might be a nice way to transition from his bounce time to family quiet time.
you mentioned your schedule and i think some kids do very well when they know what happens when. maybe he's just excited about his new home and everybody being together, so he may settle down a little more naturally, soon.
someone once told me not to make a permanent decision based on a temporary problem. you all did well in another house, so you may be very able to get back to that, once you find a way to adjust the surroundings. The boy won't be 8 forever, and he may settle into a thoughtful, considerate tween/teen. I hope there's a way you can have everything: your peace, pain relief and marriage plans.
I'm concerned that you don't have a break through plan. It might be something you and your dr can figure out with a phone call. Good luck!