Hey Linda,

I enjoy swimming, but around here, the pools are seasonal and the indoor pools are all membership only. The HS pool is open to the public, but only a very odd hours, and I find it difficult to get in any significant lap time, since there are only two lap lanes available. I did swim quite a bit this summer, but I can't say that I noticed any changes (positive or negative) as a result. I've been walking more with my poochie since we don't have a yard to romp in while we're in the apartment, but there's just something about going to the gym and working out.

I did try Pilates for a bit, in my pre-spiney days, and I have to say, I did enjoy it, working with the machines...if I were to try it again now I would definitely want a trainer/spotter around though, just to make sure my body maintains correct positioning, given all the muscular changes that have occured as compensation for my deteriorating spine.

As to the surgeries and arthritis....well, my feeling on surgery is that it is in essence a controlled injury, followed by a repair. Yes, you've already got damaged tissues going into surgery, but in order to repair the damaged parts, there's going to be some collateral damage to the surrounding tissues, no matter how good your surgeon is. I do often wonder if some of the spiney problems are some sort of autoimmune issue, especially for those spineys that start with a single problem and end up with a host of issues as the years progress. People end up with chronic pain often as a result of an over-zealous nervous system, or because of the irritation to nerves, be it mechanical or chemical. I do wonder if these irritations don't set off some kind of inflammatory process that turns into a sort of autoimmune self-destruct signal for the spine....

School's on the back-burner for the moment. I only have a year's worth of course work left, and my senior research project, but I stopped taking courses 2 yrs ago due to a major flare up, and I haven't felt good enough to go back until very recently. I just hope that by the time I get re-enrolled in classes that I won't have lost too much work...some science credits are only good for 5 years, and I've been doing college on and off since 1997, so some of my credits have a bit of age to them. I just don't know anymore what I want to do...some days I really just want to bite the bullet and struggle through a Nursing program, but then I realize how foolish it would be, since I'd be a risk to myself and my patients. And then other days I want to get my Biology degree and teach science (though I don't know that I have the patience to teach any age group, secondary ed. or college level)...And then other days I want nothing more than to finish my Bio degree and get my butt into Med school and become a doctor with a whole lot of empathy (maybe Family/Internal Medicine, or maybe Rheumatology).

Some days I just feel so old and useless, as foolish as that sounds. My life's plans just were so derailed with this spiney garbage that I don't know where to begin again. I'm 27 now, and I feel like I'm 87. I don't want to be a downer, but its very frustrating to have all your plans tossed out the window and have no idea what the future holds. I don't want to start up on something again like I did with going from Nursing to Biology, only to have to stop yet again because of my health. Each time I've had to change it's been a terribly long slog to get back out of the black hole I fell into...I just don't know if I could make it through again.

Thanks for thinking of me...Hope you have a nice (low pain) weekend.

Theresa