i want to clarify:

while it could be the case, that he just be acting self centered - that is not what i was trying to get at in my post.

what i was suggesting is that he could be prey to an internal defense mechanism, which would be involuntary, subconscious, and self-preserving, NOT self-centered. (when this sort of thing happens it still really hurts the people on the other end - in this case you Meg.)

i like Di's suggestion on the peer work. it seems like that could help regardless what the cause of the problem is. if both of you are able and willing.

~ waves ~