Originally Posted by keep smilin

Dear dear dc...


I am right here with you...I want to first say try not to be too hard on yourself and what you are experiencing and feeling is so valid and real..It is only a small portion of our RSD illness and what it does to us. But it is a very sad, emotional portion that I think hits us very hard..the feeling of being alone in this and dwindling down to it is really just us..Others can walk away no matter their connection with us cuz in the true sense of the word..it comes down to this is our battle to fight not theirs.. only the caring heart who wants to be part of this and will be as no one has to be part of it... Honey..let me say that we have all shared in this barrel scrapping feeling..more often then we all want to... If I can help you some way it would be in saying ..please..cry.. let it out..explode..hit, slam..cry and when it is all said and done...re-connect with your heart..fully knowing this is not fair, oh god, it is not fair but we are still blessed cuz as you said it is ultimately up to us to search and come to terms what really warms us..what will it take for you to feel better once you have exploded?? There trully are others who are willing to take us "as is"..and look past our disadvantage and ride the waves with us..I have become more defined thru my RSD illness cuz now more than ever how I feel about life..sad but stronger cuz I know what is happening to me..and I know I need support and love and as each days passes I will take this curse as a blessing.. as I don't believe I could have been so strong and well defined otherwise..Hold love and hope in your heart, my dear... as only a suggestion but when I am feeling down..I make myself feel better by thinking of and doing something nice for someone else..something unexpected like bake cookies for a neighbor or someone you care about..totally unexpected (possibly your sister now)....it will warm your heart..and let others know that we still care and we always have room in our heart to welcome that same surprise and unexpected "gift" in return..Love and friendship will find its way back to you 10 fold, in the mean time allow yourself to become unraveled as you have every reason to..then calmly collect yourself and move forward..My only wish is that you lived right here next to me as my neighbor because if you did..I would be the one baking cookies and delivering them to you today, honey..No worries you are perfectly normal and give your sister time, she loves you to the moon and back...and she is there for you..and don't feel guilty for depending on her as if the tables were turned I know you would do the same for her!!

Bless you, honey and heres to a brighter day just around the corner...I promise it is not far away...


Much love, Kathy